Be Like Ted

The Village tapestry of students, siblings and parents past and present is vibrant. One of those brightest threads is the Bonetti family and their beloved father and husband Ted. Ted Bonetti was a shot of humor in days that could be challenging. He was a completely present and engaged part of Village for 8 years. He literally somersaulted his way through kinder class meetings, even as his own boys had moved to upper grades. He was passionate about fun and did the work to make those opportunities happen for all of us. He cared deeply about all of the kids and he cared deeply about the teachers. He is one of the sunniest memories for so many of us who crossed his path while at Village. We thank him for his tireless service at the school and at the parties. We love and miss you Ted Bonetti.

Ted passed away last June and a memorial service was held in his honor. Below are words shared by Ted’s good buddy and Village’s own dear alumni parent, Rob Rothrock. Thank you, Rob, for sharing your words and your heart.

Ted was honored at our Village Alumni Picnic in May, where Rob created a special blend of Ted’s “lemon aid” and Teacher Gina sang a beautiful song accompanied by alumni Steve Rappa and his students. The Village Community created a special plaque engraved with the words “Be Like Ted” and this will be placed on the Village bike rack.

Tribute to Ted Bonetti
(An open letter to Brendan & Anthony)

The first time I met Ted “Teddy” Bonetti, I didn’t see him, I only HEARD him. Through the thin fabric walls of a weekend camper’s domed tent, I lie restless, and unsleeping, trying to figure out who the lunatic was who obviously didn’t know the meaning of the words “Quiet Time,” but, somehow, knew how to run a blender in a campground, and whose voice and laugh seemed only to operate at level “11.” I was a first time Village parent, trying to survive the Kinder-gauntlet, exhausted, hot and dusty, and I was not amused. I believe that was the one and only time Teddy Bonetti did not amuse me, or delight me, and now I shamelessly tell this story just to get a laugh… Ted wins again.

I realize that today will be filled with stories of Ted, and I couldn’t help but tell that first one, however, I won’t fill your ears with tall tales of Ted. Instead I would like to offer up an open letter to his sons.

Brendan and Anthony,

I’m writing to you, because, like you, I am a son, and like you I lost my father. My father was in my life for a long time, so that is different, but please know, from the bottom of my heart, a fellow son’s heart, I’m so sorry for your loss. No child should have a parent leave this earth so early, so soon. You both have long lives ahead of you, and your father’s spirit will be with you for the whole ride. Of that, I am certain.

Your Dad did not expect this to happen, it was not part of the plan, but still he did all in his power to fill you up to the brim with his love. He heaped it upon you, hand over fist, and THAT is his lasting gift to you… that Love. His love will last you a lifetime. Again, of that I am certain.

As time passes, as you grow older, there will be a temptation to try and be your Dad, to try and fill his shoes or do something the way he would do it. Fight that urge! Don’t “Be Your Dad.” That is the furthest thing from what your Dad wants. He took such delight in how different you both are… different from each other and different from him. More than anything, he would want you to be yourself, 100% you, as he was 100% him. He wants you to carve your own way. He wants you to be comfortable in your own skin, and self-proud of who you are. He wants you to stand up for what you believe, strive for it, defend it and make it happen. And he wants you to do all of that however it works best for you. How do I know what your Dad wants for you? Well… unlike you, I’m also a Dad, and Dads know, and Dads talk, and we share our hopes and our pride. Your Dad and I have these things in common. That’s how I know.

Now, before you call me heartless with all this talk of “Don’t be your Dad” and “Strike out on your own, and be yourself,” let me speak to you as a friend… not a son… not a Dad… just a friend. As I said, “Don’t be your Dad,” but on your long journey, please, please, please, be LIKE your Dad. Be kind. Be generous. Be open. Be friendly to a fault. Be gregarious and helpful. Be funny and, quietly, serious. Be wacky. Be full of surprises. Be happy. BE LOUD, and if you’re ever too loud, apologize… but with a twinkle of mischief in your eye that says, “But, it was fun, wasn’t it?” Be love, and be loved. When you are out there in the world, being yourself, making your way, be these things and you won’t “Be Your Dad,” but you’ll be like him… and the world will be better for it.

I should wrap this up, so let me close this letter by telling you that you won’t be alone in all this. I plan to be like your Dad too. That’s my goal. “Be Like Ted.” I’m fairly certain, anyone and everyone who met and knew your Dad has the same goal. “Be Like Ted.”

With kindness and love,
Rob Rothrock
Son, Dad, Friend