Parenting Toolbox

Transitions

By Lynn L., Parent of First Grade Firecracker Emilia and Incoming Kinder Gianna

As the school year comes to an end, I am faced with mixed emotions. I feel sadness because we will be saying goodbye to our preschool, where we have made good friends and have had wonderful teachers for the past five years. I am also beyond excited that that my youngest will be entering kindergarten and that both of my children will be at Village next year. After all of this time, I will have one drop off, one pick up and finally some time for myself!

But, as sat down to write this article, I realized that I had been focusing on my own plans and excitement and hadn’t really taken time to consider how this transition was going to affect my girls… My youngest will be leaving a school that she has attended since she was two, leaving her friends and her teachers. Most likely, she feels fear about starting Kindergarten and anxiety about meeting new friends and a new teacher. My older daughter might be uncertain about leaving her current teacher and class, concerned about which class she will be in, if her friends will be in class with her and what she will do all summer. So I asked myself, “How can I help my children through these transitions?”

According to the Webster’s Dictionary, transition is defined as “a passage from one state or condition to another.” As we transition, it is natural that we experience sadness, fear, anxiety, apprehension or excitement. It is important we give ourselves the time and space to say goodbye, to mourn the passing stage and to prepare ourselves for the next stage or new beginning. Children and adults tend to manage transitions and feelings differently. Adults have more experience and usually more coping skills. Children on the other hand, may express their feelings by acting out, arguing, fighting, withdrawal, regression, needing more reassurance, etc. As parents, what are we supposed to do? As we know, change is inevitable, so how do we navigate these transitions with our children as smoothly as possible?

Luckily, there are ways to make transitions a bit smoother. Whether you are saying goodbye to a friend, school, teacher or entering a new class, school or summer camp, these steps can help:

Create a schedule or calendar. Children do better when they have a schedule so they know what to expect. Try to include your child in the scheduling. You can use family meetings as an opportunity to discuss the upcoming changes and address any concerns. Make sure to place the calendar somewhere everyone can see it. Review the calendar daily with your child.

Maintain connections. Try setting up play dates and help your child maintain the friendships he/she has built. This will make for a smoother transition to next year. Consider attending the Village park play date this summer. It is a win-win, enabling both you and your child to maintain connections.

Make new connections. Help your child meet new friends. If you are new to a school, program, activity, etc., find out if they have a welcoming event. Village has two summer play dates for incoming Kinder and it is a wonderful way to meet new families. If your child is starting a new school or summer camp, take a tour of the campus with your child.

Ask questions and check in with your child. Explore feelings your child may have by asking questions. For example, What are you most excited about…?, What do you have concerns about…?, What might be hard about…?, What do you like most about….?, What will you miss about….?, How are you feeling about…? The trick is to not overdo it. Talking too much can cause more worry and stress. Listen to and acknowledge your child’s feelings. Children do better when they feel supported, listened to and respected. Allow your child to brainstorm some solutions to problems or concerns he/she may have.

These are just a few suggestions. Every child is different and what works for one may not work for another. I am reminded of that daily in my house!

The bottom line is this, transitions are hard for all of us and we need to support ourselves and our children through each stage. As adults, find your support system and reach out as needed. I know I have! Luckily, at Village it is easy to find support. For children, the best gift we can give them is to be present, be available and be supportive. This will help empower them and give them the tools they need to successfully work through transitions and challenges.

I wish you all a wonderful summer, and a successful transition into the new school year!